SAPPHIRE AND FADED JEANS Ü

"dapat nag gag-show na lang kayo, hindi talk show."

 

well - said. thanks for the encouraging marks and stuffs. parang ayaw ko na tuloy galingan sa susunod kasi sobrang ayos ng mga nangyari last time. pero, chill lang. firstssss kasi e. tsss. i still love my life. Ü

sorry magulo. sorry kasi madaldal ako. sorry kasi nakakatawa kami. e, we are not insane kasi e. okay. yung lang. baka ano na naman kasi masabi ko e.

and it is tiring and sickening that i want to puke all the way from my bed to the john. tsss. wala lang. i just want to make my thoughts appear beyond comprehension. haha! e, naiintindihan niyo pa rin naman, 'diba? never na yata talaga akong magiging isang pantas.

so, my younger sis lent me a book that she borrowed from her classmate. ang funny kasi ang babata pa nila to read such compilation of stories. siguro akala nila parang SVH lang yun. but noooo! akala ko rin nung una, Über mushy, pero hindeeee! the bessst!

THE book: Heartbreak edited by Cel Coscolluela

and so...

i have read a part that really got me..got me..nodding. haha. it is so concise, so exact that i want it on my epitaph when i die. yun e.

so here's the shit, biatches!

    "They all wonder, love, why I always write about pain. I'm never too happy, never placid; it's like a thrive on getting hurt, such a pushover for love.

    But wouldn't you? Write about pain, I mean. When you've reached the threshold, the very edge of pain, and know that it is only to get worse, wouldn't you write about the very thing that's ripping you apart? When there's nothing left of you, wouldn't you write about the person who's made you love like that?

    Ah, but what do i know. I just throw away these words because I can't bear to keep them, love. No, I can't bear to keep them."

-- E.C. De Los Reyes, Letters to Joaquin

tamang - tama. EXACTLY!

wag niyong akalain na naka move - on na ako sa tv prod. hindi pa. hanggang ngayon, dala - dala ko pa rin ang tampo. kaya nga naman, bukas, sa church, magdadasal ako ng taimtin at hihingin ko sa Maykapal ang ibayong pasensya at pag - intindi.

ayun e. sorry. kapag rainy talaga, medyo maulan din ang brain waves ko kaya naman anu - ano ang lumalabas sa utak ko na sinusunod naman ng mga daliri ko.

bow.

1. gusto kong magalit.
2. gusto kong umiyak.
3. gusto kong tumigil.
4. gusto ko talagang magalit.
5. gusto kong umiyak ng umiyak.

bow.

"mas magiging madali ang mga bagay - bagay kung hindi mo ito seseryosohin."

 

i am currently at the internet section of the the ust library. haha. i will take the preliminary exam in experimental psychology. haha. i want to go to subic. haha. grabe. ths is too much.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JHONGGGGG!Ü

(sorry sa pic. alam kong ayaw mo ito kasi akala mo, mukha kang mataba. pero, hindi ka naman kasi mukhang mataba so ito na yung nilagay ko. tsaka, kasi, medyo okay appearance ko dito, so, eto na. k? k.)

19 things you should know about JHONG:

1. ka - tambay sa starbs.
2. mabait na dormate. (may feeling akong ikaw na ang    susunod na best dormate.)
3. madaling kausap. (gaybar ulet a?)
4. upset kapag pagod.
5. masipag mag - exercise. (okay. kasya ka na.)
6. HOTT!
7. endless LOL moments kapag kasama mo siya.
8. mahilig sa siomai at sa mga bagay na pwedeng isubo pero bawal lunukin.
9. mahilig sa mga mukhang bata.
10. meanwhile , however. meanwhile. worthwhile.
11. galit sa mga aktibo.
12. coffee addict pero antukin. ewan ko kung bakit.
13. gusto makipag-flirt, pero nahihiya. haha.
14. optimistic.
15. nanood ng movie mag-isa.
16. pero, ayaw kumain mag-isa.
17. hindi natatakot sa horror movies.
18. smart. (hindi globe. OMG. i crack myself up.)
19. may picture siya ni MATTHEW whatever sa loob ng cabinet niya. (tama ba spelling?)

haha. JHONG. besttttt! galingan mo sa buhay a. maging agressive ka..please? tsaka, hindi ka mataba. chill lang. tsaka, hindi oily face mo. anddddd, BFF! hahahah. baduy ampt.

xoxoxo

*

and it happened again.

hooked.

caught up.

i hate it.

 i just don't fuckin' get it.

just shoot me.

tell me i am worthless..

maybe i'lL get it by then.

but now? i don't know.

* haha. ela. i know that you know this pic. haha. wala lang. matagal ko na kasi gustong i-post ito. huw. pwede ko ba siyang ma-miss? haha. idts, 'diba? Ü

life is unbelievably and impossibly boring. just let me talk. let me complain how unfair life is and how insensitive some people are. i am not asking for anything. just don't leave me out -- be it a conversation, a joke or something that you share out of a whim or a desire or just plain boredom. I JUST WANT TO KNOW. i hate that you choose other people over me, that you favor them over me. i may appear cool on the outside but deep inside i am shouting, crying and am wanting to slap you and kick you until your senses serve you your own justice.

maybe it's my fault all along. i get too attached easliy. nothing gives me away. i keep it until i am so ready to burst. i smell the scent, i begin to think of ending things with it. ( i don't want to use pronouns. pronouns has a way of giving me away.) i want to get away. i want to tell someone close to me how i hate what i am feeling. dapat kasi wala lang ito. these feelings are produced out of paranoia and fear.

i'll stop it..NOW. shit. i feel lighter. good. breathe in, breathe out.

i guess, i am fine.

and i am the baddest friend one can ever have. i hate it. beware of me.