SAPPHIRE AND FADED JEANS Ü

i love independence. i just can't get enough of it. being away from my immediate is the best way to de-stress myself. it's not that i don't want to be with them. it's just that there is this certain light, good - natured feeling that i get when i am not around them. i am happier now. i am more content now. i don't get my daily dose of "shopping pangs" aymore.

you know what? life is not bull. it might suck at times but it'll only get better. Ü

Two years ago, I was this innocent girl who never slept without reading a chapter or two in her textbooks. She'd rather finish up an assignment than talk with a friend over coffee. She had spent her freetime at home watching DVD's and reading novels instead of meeting up with her girlfriends to hang-out and have a good time. Two years ago, I was likable. I was a GOOD girl. I was not happy.

Now, i am happier. I may not be as likable as i used to be; but, i still possess the same old sweetness that made me shine in spite of gloom and longing. Way, i am a bad girl. a good girl gone bad. haha. nyeh-eh. kiddings! i just decided to free myself form those maria clara-ish principles and Über conservative views i once had about life and stuffs that's in it.

today, she can now sleep without reading the prescribed article in class. she is so ready to ditch her homeworks over a talk with a friend. her freetimes these days are not spent inside the crib unless, she is so angry that she wants to kill herself (do you get how much i hate staying at home?).

i know that i've changed -- a lot. i once thought that i was lost. i was this close (pretend that you can see my thumb and my index finger so close to each other) to being my highschool self again.  fortunately, i found myself, my happiness, my fulfillment and my contentment just in time.

una.

pwede ko bang gamitin itong tabulas para mag-drama?  hindi. ayoko. nu wi.

second.

natatakot ako.

tweny - nu.

napapagod na din pala ako. di na kaya ng daily energy levels ko.

chuelve.

schizophrenia? MPD? shit. meron ka ata. kaya pala. sabi ko na nga ba. i am so galing!

piftin.

masyado na. may nakakalimutan na ako. ayoko na ako yung mas may lamang. mahirap yun, babe. tama na.

because i view life from a hole in my neighbor's backyard fence, i don't see everything quickly as compared with other people. i need time to digest things. i hate new set-ups. i have this tendency to be so attached with the old one that when the new one comes along, i really don't know what to do. na-realize ko din pala that my filtering system malfunctions when i am sleepy or when i am thinking too much. ayan a. hint na yan para sa mga taong gusto akong awayin.

whoa! i need coffee. seryoso lang. i need to save money. i need to go shopping. i need a boyfriend.  i need to be happy. i need to accept things as they are. wa? i need to love myself.

talk is cheap and so are you. + kupita.

and so my headache's killing me once again. i went to our balcony, terrace, veranda or what have you and i tried scribbling my conventional, stereotypical thoughts for scriptwriting but nothing productive came out. shit. i really need a vacation. okay. that's too much to ask. maybe just a coffee break with a new friend♥ na lang. watchuthink?

thursday. thursdays with jhong and moi. c'mon! i am chill. chill lang ako. i need coffee on the set! PLEASSEEEE? that's too demanding of me. sige na nga, i'll just bring my own coffeemaker and stuffsssss. maaga ako bukas. before 9 dapat hindi lang apparition ko ang makikita nila kundi AKO talaga dapat. huw. anhirap pa namang matulog ng may cough and colds and headache and heartache. nge. wa. juk lang.i am just foolin' around. wait. sneeze lang ako ng bonggang - bongga. okay. tapos na. oo nga pala. yung mga cam sa edtech, pundido yung ilaw. di ko tuloy malaman kung saan ako titingin. pero nga naman kung di pundido yung mga ilaw sa cam, e, ano na lang ang gagawin ni colet? diba? right? right. hahhaha.

alam kong napakawalang kwenta ng entry kong ito. kasi, medyo sabaw at sardinas at pan de monggo at biogesic na walang hapdi sa tiyan ang laman ng utak ko ngayon. kulang na kulang ako sa vitamin C. get mo? get. pati sa fruits and vegetables. huw. para din kasing KNK itong kusina namin. hotdog, instant noodles at many more. buti nga sa KNK may shake, sa aming kusina, wala. hahaha.

so, tatapusin ko na itong non - sensical kong entry. baka ano pang masabi ko. okay? okay lang ba? okay. salamat!

p.s.

maraming butil ng asin pero kakaunti lang ang may alat.Ü